Koko de bokura wa deatte shimatta
by axomyrhcal13
Summary: I wouldn’t risk our friendship. I want things to stay the same, yet at the same time I’m yearning for more. Perfect Pair.
1. Chapter 1

**Koko de Bokura wa Deatte Shimatta**

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't concede any right to own this anime, more importantly the characters. If I did, why would I even bother to write fiction stories about my favorite pair? They'd be the main focus in the anime, that's for certain. And the song used here is not mine...

**WARNING: **Yaoi.

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xXxXx

_**Kimi no koe ga kikoeta sonna kiga shita**_

_**Furikaereba soko ni aoi sora**_

_**I thought I heard your voice**_

_**When I turn around, what I see is the blue sky**_

'_Perfect. You were the perfect Kunimitsu Tezuka. That was the reason why I fell in love with you. Everyone admires you, but you just merely ignored them. I guess nothing must get in your way to perfection. Perfect. I couldn't tell you my feelings; I wouldn't scar your perfect existence.'_

'_I could only be a flaw in your perfection, Tezuka. I did what I know is right.'_

'_I can't hurt you.'_

'_Because I love you.'_

Fuji Syusuke stared out of his apartment window, dusk is slowly setting in and he finds that scene melancholically sad yet oddly comforting. It has been 5 years now, since he graduated junior high in Seishun Gakuen and separated ways with his teammates. Now, he's in college, pursuing a course in Photography.

Five long years…

Fuji tried his best to forget the past, the past that he regretted and cried for many sleepless nights before. But it seems like an impossible task, even a tensai like him can't do. And the past seems to be trailing him from behind, never leaving his sight.

An hour ago, Eiji called him, informing him that Tezuka is coming back and will stay in Japan for the meantime. Fuji unconsciously gripped the phone tightly as though he wants to break it in half as Eiji continued to talk, telling him that Tezuka will arrive the next day and that they were planning to pick him up at the airport and then they'll eat on Kawamura's place.

Trying not to sound bothered; Fuji assured Eiji that he'll come before hanging up. For years he tried to forget Tezuka, and more importantly, the feelings he harbored for him, but to no effect whatsoever. It's even worse than dreaming the impossible.

'_I tried to forget, Tezuka, the pain you've caused me when you left, it was hard and I couldn't take it. I tried to forget you, Tezuka, your perfect existence in my life but the more I try to forget, the more I remember you. And it hurts more than ever.'_

'_I tried to forget my love for you, but I guess I'm pouring more gasoline in the flame for I loved you even more, more than I could handle." _

_**Yarino koshita koto ga mada koko ni aru nara**_

_**Kore me sono hitotsu ka mo shirenai**_

_**If there are still things left here to be done**_

_**Perhaps this too, is one of them**_

'_I may be perfect, as they all say, but I'm a fool. A fool who denied the truth and run away from it. A fool who never considered returning your feelings. A fool who chickened away and left you shattered. A fool who fell in love but didn't fight for it.'_

'_I'm only perfect when you're by my side, Fuji; I feel I can do anything in your presence. But when you're out of the picture, I'm nothing at all. That's why I came back.'_

'_I love you, Syusuke.'_

"Fuji! Nya, I'm so glad you came!" Eiji's booming voice ringed around the airport, as Fuji strolled over to his best friend and his old teammates. It's like nothing has ever changed, except maybe they've grown but their friendship were still as strong as ever.

"I'm assuming you weren't expecting me, ne?" Fuji teased, smiling sweetly over his friends.

Eiji was still childish, bouncy and sweet as ever. Oishi was still a big worrywart, still living up his reputation as the team's mother hen. Taka-san was also there, still timid and bashful, yet smiling with a mature air around him. Inui, on the other hand, was still clutching his oh-so familiar green notebook, probably apt to gather recent data on Tezuka. Momo, standing next to Inui, had grown a lot 'powerful' like what he was probably boasting about right now. Next to him was Kaidoh, still the same like he did back then, with his healthy regimen still continuing. And last but not the least, and was surprisingly present despite his tournaments, was Ryoma, who've grown taller over the years but hadn't lost his arrogance and cockiness along with his superb tennis.

"Of course not! Honestly, Fuji, that will be most unlikely to happen." Answered Oishi.

"Saa, I was only joking guys." His soft chuckle escaped his lips.

"Fuji-sempai, you never change, huh?" came Echizen's voice. Everyone agreed to that fact. Fuji was still Fuji, as though his youthful glory never once faded or scarred. The smile that was solely his was still plastered on his face. The undeniably effeminate pulchritude still exudes from him, even more pronounced than ever. His eyes in the bluest of blue were stained with hesitant excitement and veiled sadness albeit he hid it well from his friends. When he spoke, his heartbreakingly soft and smooth voice was still alluring as ever. Though you can't deny the tint of maturity that adds color to his already-demeanor persona, Fuji Syusuke is still the same old him.

"Saa…I guess I don't , Echizen." Came his cheeky reply. Although the tensai was showing his usual display of emotion, it was evident he was on his façade again.

"Then, how about you, Tezuka-buchou?" said Echizen, his lips curving into smirk as he watch the surprised expression appearing on Fuji's face. Everyone was startled too; for they were too busy talking to notice Tezuka's arrival.

Tezuka was already there, next to Fuji. And as the tensai raised his eyes to meet the same eyes he longed to see again, he felt a tight rope gripping his heart. He didn't know if he would last standing there next to him, the urge to disappear and stay battled inside his head. Tezuka, if possible, had grown more perfect, more dignified than he ever was before.

"Buchou!" Everyone gathered around Tezuka, of course, it has been years since they have last seen him. Trying to muster his strength to smile, Fuji joined in with his old teammates.

In his mind, he was in turmoil. An old wound, one that he took years to heal and patch up, was once again stinging him with searing pain. But for his and Tezuka's sake, he'll veil it up with a smile, maybe even just for now.

xXxXx

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**A/N:** Hope you guys like it. Reviews of any kind are appreciated, oh please review. So that I would know if this fic of mine could somehow be pushed through till the end. Any suggestions or comments would also be encouraged. The song I used is from Fuji and Tezuka's duet. This was originally a one-shot fic, but I got carried away and now it's too lengthy to be one. Enjoy reading you guys, I'll update soon! Just bear with me and my writing!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Here's the second chapter. Enjoy. And, oh, I'm somewhat dramatic here, heheh...again, just bear with me! Comments are encouraged!

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xXxXx

_**Mada osanasa wo nokoshiteita**_

_**Ano hi no futari ga ima mo**_

_**Even now, the two of us still have**_

_**The childlike innocence from that day**_

'_You were smiling, like you always do. But I can tell that it was forced, strained and most of all, sad. Why? Is it because of me? If only you knew how I felt, seeing you this way. You were the reason that I came back, I wanted to see you again. But why are you avoiding me? Why are you pretending to be happy when inside you're breaking down?'_

'_I wanted to reach out, but I'm afraid that you'll run away. I guess I deserve this, because it was my decision to leave. It was bound to happen, I expected that this will happen, it was my fault anyway.'_

'_Will you ever forgive me, Syusuke?'_

Everyone was very that night at Kawamura's place. It was a rare yearly reunion mainly because Tezuka was never there for he was busy with his name in the tennis world in an upsurge and with him being a college student at the same time. This was actually their first with Tezuka surprisingly present.

Tezuka sat quietly, his eyes taking the familiar ruckus of his old team that he missed. Beside him sat Fuji, his chin resting on his hand in a contemplative manner while the other holds his chopsticks and idly turning over his wasabi sushi. The buchou felt a little tense with the tensai sitting within his reach, as if it were a torture to his senses.

"Ne, buchou, have you met your special someone in Germany?" queried Momo out of the blue, surprising the captain along with the one sitting behind him, who nearly choked on his sushi. Momo grinned from ear to ear, knowing that this time; his teasing won't garner 20 laps from his buchou.

"No, I have not."

Momo's eyes glinted with mischief again, "Ne, does that mean buchou has someone to return here in Japan? Maybe—KIKUMARU-SEMPAI! DON'T STEAL MY SUSHI!" The captain stared at Momo who was trying to snatch back the sushi Kikumaru just swallowed whole.

"Mou…I'm still your sempai, Momo-chan, so be a good kouhai and give me that sushi nya." whined Kikumaru, his voice all gooey like a child begging for some candies.

Fuji smiled as he set down the drink he just drank and coughed slightly. Choking up on a very spicy sushi is pretty hilarious for a very careful person like him. Shaking off the thought, he boldly turned to Tezuka to start up a conversation.

"Ne, Tezuka, why did you return in such short notice?"

Hiding his surprise, he answered curtly, "I have something to do."

"Saa, it must be really important, for you to just fly back here in a jiffy."

He nodded, "Yes, it's very important."

"What about college?"

"I'm thinking about transferring here, I want to stay here in Japan for good."

"I thought you'd go PRO, isn't your name garnered millions of attention in the tennis world? That's what I've heard here."

"That can wait. Besides…" His voice trailed off, not wanting to let Fuji get the hint that HE is the important reason why he's here right now.

"Besides what?" Fuji tilted his head in inquiry.

"I need to settle something before I ruin it more."

"Aa…" Silence went absolute after their conversation. Fuji shifted his attention back to his other friends who were too busy chatting and making noise to notice the swelling tension between Tezuka and Fuji.

Ryoma, who was not joining the ruckus caused by his sempais, listened stealthily to the conversation of Seigaku's former top players. He was surprised that those two never even noticed him eavesdropping, who is known for their sharp senses that they might as well have eyes on their sides and back. He was feigning sleep, but you could easily tell that he is, but it made him surprised, especially that sadistic tensai, whose alert with all the things happening around him with his eyes closed. But what took him off guard was the sudden change of atmosphere around the two, immediately filled with tension.

Smirking slightly, he came to understand what was happening and muttered silently to himself, "Mada mada dane, sempai-tachi."

'_I've always thought that you weren't coming back, perhaps, even hoped that you weren't coming back. But now, you're here, you're back and for the first time in my life, I didn't know what I must do. Deep down, I'm very happy to see you again yet so sad because there are so many things left unsaid between us and your return unearthed everything back again.'_

'_You told me that you'll stay, I don't know if I have to be happy or not. The past that I've tried hard to lock away is opening up again. I've had it with all the pain; how could I face you again after all of this? I guess I could avoid you, but you always catch up, it's like you're using your Tezuka Zone on me, and that I couldn't get away.'_

'_I guess I could only treasure our friendship, Tezuka. It's the only thing that holds us together and more importantly, what brought us together. Funny, isn't it? I'm acting like a hopeless girl blinded by her love for a sensational heart throb from some cheesy cliché TV drama, all just for you, Tezuka. I'd swallowed up my pride and what's left of it for you. I still love you Tezuka, it wasn't a choice, and everything was just beyond my control.'_

_**Ima kara demo osoku wa nai**_

_**Hajimeyou ka**_

_**It's not too late to start now**_

"_**Shall we get started?"**_

'_It was like salt rubbed on fresh wound when I decided to study and stay at Germany right after junior high, because I'm leaving all of you, especially you, Fuji, behind. I left because I can't control my emotions anymore, I don't want to hurt you, so I chose to walk out of the picture. Every single time I see you, I longed to be with you, I longed for you. I got scared; the least of what I wanted to do was to hurt you by telling you that I love you. I wouldn't risk our friendship. I want things to stay the same, yet at the same time I'm yearning for more.'_

'_So I left. That was the best decision, I presumed. Leave and try to shun away these forbidden feelings. Try to forget about my mistake. Try to forget about you._

'_But I was entirely, mistakenly wrong. The more I deny, the more I run away, the more I fell deeply for you. It wasn't a mistake; nothing was to be considered a mistake. And trying to forget you, I've decided I'd rather throw my life away than to do such thing.'_

Fuji was gazing out of the window, with a book propped open on his lap, when the doorbell rang. He stood up and opened the door, revealing a brightly smiling Eiji.

"Eiji?!"

"You weren't expecting me, ne, Fuji?"

Fuji smiled at his best friend as he let the redhead enter his apartment suite. "Saa, this is a surprise, Eiji. You actually came here without Oishi."

"He's out somewhere again nya. Besides, I wanted to visit you alone, Fuji nya."

Fuji let out a smile. "That's thoughtful of you Eiji. Would you like some tea?"

"Hai. Arigato, Fuji nya," He sat down in one of Fuji's couch as the latter bustled around the small kitchen to make some tea.

"Saa, is there something you want to tell me, Eiji?"

"Yeah, I guess I do have."

Fuji strolled over him, carefully setting down the tea at the table in front of them. "Then tell me, Eiji."

"Actually, Fuji…" he took a sip off his tea before settling it down again, and looked straight to Fuji, startling the tensai. "I was wondering if you could tell me what's bothering you."

The tensai's smile faltered, but he quickly patched it up with another one. But Eiji, who has excellent eye sight, noticed it. "I see, you do have something bothering you, Fuji and you're trying to hide it."

"It's really nothing, Eiji."

"Tell me, Fuji." Eiji locked his serious gaze on his best friend, whose smile was completely replaced by a sad frown and his cerulean eyes opened with suppressed sadness.

"Tell me,…is it…Tezuka?" As soon as the words came out of Eiji's mouth, he'd instantly regretted doing so for Fuji's well-carved mask shattered in front of him. Maudlin tears leaked out of his eyes, a sight Eiji never once saw, or even dreamed of seeing on his best friend's face. "Fuji..."

"Why did he return?" His voice cracked with frustration and anguish. Eiji felt suddenly confused, seeing as he never expected Fuji to cry over their captain in such dejected manner.

"You don't want him around?" What possible reason would the tensai have for not wanting Tezuka around? He, of all people, is the one closest and dearest to Tezuka, according to Oishi.

"I don't want to feel all those pains he'd caused me again!" Angry tears were pouring down his face, and Eiji felt his heart being twisted, seeing Fuji in this state. He searched his mind for any possible time wherein Tezuka might have caused Fuji pain, but he knew the captain would never do that. But then, it hit him. The only reason that might be the cause of this shattered Fuji sobbing in front of him.

"You…you love him?"

"I did! I do! And I still do! Even if it hurts me, I still love him." He noticed the unmistakable longing was present in his voice. Gently, Eiji gave his best friend a hug, letting the tensai sob uncontrollably on his shoulders.

"So, it has been a long time and you haven't told him. Fuji?"

"You know I can't tell him. He's the perfect Tezuka Kunimitsu. I won't let myself get on his way. I wouldn't pull him down now that he's already above just because I love him."

Then, Eiji slowly realized that Fuji has always loved Tezuka. The answer was there before his very eyes. Everything that Fuji do is for Tezuka, it's like he dedicated his life for Tezuka already. But since when? Since when did his best friend hid all his feelings away and almost gave it all up?

"Fuji, since when did you came to love him?" Eiji felt Fuji reached out tightly to him, as if the question had wound him again. "I see…so, it has been so long, am I right?"

"Since the first time I've met him."

"You mean since our first year in Seigaku?"

"Yes…"

Eiji felt tears stung his eyes too. It was just too painful to even think about it, let alone seeing the way his best friend known for being head strong and intimidating crumble in front of him just because of the love he never got. In fact, this was the first time he saw the real Fuji, the vulnerable and fragile Fuji. Now, he understood why his best friend tried his best to hide beneath his façade.

The redhead slowly let go of the tensai, who was still sobbing, wiping his own tears.

"Eiji---why?" Fuji mumbled through his sobs, noticing the tears leaking out of his best friend's eyes.

Eiji let out a shaky smile. "I can't help but cry seeing you like this, Fuji nya."

Fuji felt his familiar smile crept back to his face, "Thank you, Eiji. But please don't cry I hate seeing you like this. And," his soft voice cracked as he attempted to laugh "Oishi might have my head for making you cry."

"No, he won't Fuji." He paused, wiping his tears with the back of his hand. "Ne, Fuji, tell him. Tell Tezuka what you feel. It's not too late for everything."

"No, it's been years, I don't want to get my hopes up again and regret it in the end."

"But you, of all people, deserve to be happy! Both of you deserves to be happy, Fuji!" Fresh tears came out of Eiji's eyes, as well as Fuji. The tensai understood the redhead's intention. But he just couldn't do it that easy. Silence fell between them, with Fuji trying to fix his breathing and Eiji wiping his tears away.

"Listen Fuji, I'm positive that it'll go alright. It won't hurt if you try." And with that Eiji grinned. He gave the now slightly smiling Fuji another one of his bear hugs.

"Thank you very much, Eiji."

"Don't worry Fuji nya. I'm here for you!" he said sweetly, returning to his usual cheery self. "If buchou hurts you again, you can count on me if you need someone to lean on. And if you can't cry anymore, I'll be willing to cry for you nya!" he chuckled as he said that, Fuji even manage to flash his friend a genuine smile as he let go of Eiji.

"Hoi, we're best fiends nya! I'd be a bad friend if I leave you in this state!" he finished his statement with a toothy grin and Fuji can't help but feel comfortable now.

xXxXx

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: I Don't Own Prince of Tennis especially the characters. Nor does the song used here, or even the title itself. I don't have any right to do so. The only thing that I can claim to be mine is my sole idea of writing this story. I used the song because of the inspiration it gave me, not because I'm claiming it to be mine.

**A/N:** Hi everyone! Here's the third chapter. Thanks for those who gave their reviews. I have really appreciated it. Forgive me if my writing style didn't suit anything, I'm trying to improve myself. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. By the way, is my story angsty? A little bit way over the board? Too dramatic? Or am I torturing Fuji that much? If so, tell me, it's my unconscious habit in writing. I really want to improve this story.

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xXxXx

_**Ano hi…**_

_**On that day…**_

'_I'm leaving, Fuji. Those words were like knives, sharp and lethal. You have already told me you were leaving once, but that was because of your rehabilitation and you promised you'd get back for the team. I took it easily back then, but I still longed for the day you'll come back as the perfect Tezuka Kunimitsu. But now, you're here once again to tell me the words that I dreaded to hear. I'm leaving, Fuji. I'm going to study at Germany. Yes, I felt like dying when I heard your words.'_

'_I guess nothing I can say or do can change your decision. That's what I've managed to say. I was busy straining back the tears that were threatening to spill out of my eyes. I can only give you my usual smiles and assure to you that we will all miss you, that we were happy that you wanted to pursue your dreams.'_

'_I was really planning to confess that day. I've already made up my mind by then, but you headed me off by telling me you're leaving. I can't imagine the regret I've felt not speaking out too soon and tell you my feelings.'_

'_If I tell you now, Tezuka, will you accept and understand me?'_

'_Are you willing to forgive me?'_

'_Are you willing to accept me?'_

'_Sometimes, I wish I hadn't given you a good reason to avoid and leave me because it works like it's the most natural thing in the world.'_

'_Am I really not too late?'_

Fuji decided to go for a walk because he got no reason to stay locked up in his apartment when the weather's this perfect. Deciding that he'd want to visit home, he took a bus and sat for about half an hour, contemplating, before stepping out in the familiar grounds greeting him.

He first took the familiar steps leading to his house. Hoping that Yumiko, Yuuta or his mother was home, he took his house keys and stepped inside.

"Nee-san? Yuuta? Okaa-san? Anybody here?"

No answer came, nobody was home. Sighing, he left the house, locking the door behind him and continued his walk. He really didn't know where he wanted to go, no real intentions except to visit his family. He let his feet take control, his mind wandering on its own.

After about several minutes of unconscious walking, he halted and found himself staring at his old school, Seishun Gakuen. It has been years since he last came here. Smiling wistfully, he went inside and headed to the courts on the side of the school.

A sad smile formed on his lips as he recalled the precious memories he have shared with his teammates in the very courts standing proud in front of him. He remembered the countless times that he'd run all those laps for many reasons and some of them so absurd that he let out a chuckle. He remembered the various match he had back then, of which he would always be victorious except when he would deliberately lose a match just to taste Inui's weird gastronomic concoctions that he love.

In the middle of his reminiscing, he heard footsteps approaching him. And when he turned around, it was Tezuka's gaze that greeted him.

"Tezuka?"

_**Koko de bokura wa deatte shimatta**_

_**Soshite bokura wa kizuite shimatta**_

_**Atarashii sekai wo tobira ga hiraita**_

_**Soshite mata koko de bokura wa deatta**_

_**We ran into each other here**_

_**And we both realized that**_

_**The door to a new world has opened**_

_**And here, we meet again**_

"Tezuka?"

Fuji stood there with his azure eyes opened with surprise.

"Wha—what are you doing here?" He tried to keep his tone normal as he could but he failed to hide the mock surprise and suppressed irritation when he said that. Tezuka merely gazed at him, trying to conceal how happy he was to see the tensai.

"I guess I should ask the same to you."

"I—just answer me, Tezuka. I asked you first." There was a slight bitterness evident in his voice.

"I wanted to visit Seigaku again, I've missed this place." Tezuka drew nearer, and stood up next to him. Fuji suddenly remembered that they used to stand like this back then, and his bitterness suddenly melted as he fought his growing wanton to tackle the stoic boy right there and then.

"I have the same reason…I missed everything, it's been a long time. I really want things back. If only…"

"Everyone feels the same way Fuji, I do too."

"Ne, Tezuka, we first met here, right on this very court, am I right?" Tezuka smiled as he heard the smile in Fuji's voice despite the wistfulness of it.

"Yes, I remember quite clearly."

Fuji gazed blankly on the court before him, as the memories of that fateful day popped on his mind. He could actually remember how his heart suddenly accelerated, how his breathing got quickened, how his hands sweated in cold and how his face burned red when he caught the sight of the young Tezuka back then. It was also on that very court did they have their first match against each other on his reckless request. Also, the promise that one day they would again have a match. A promise that started their special friendship void of typical definition of what friendship should be. A friendship that is uniquely theirs alone and no one else's.

Tezuka stared blankly ahead, the memoirs of the place silently overwhelming him. The lithe boy beside him must have been feeling the same, for there was a look of reminisced longing on his cerulean eyes.

"Fuji, I—"

"It's funny isn't it? We first met here, have our first and last match here, said our goodbyes here and now we meet again; the same day, same time, same place. Is this what they call fate?"

"I don't know."

"Saa, whatever it is, I really don't care." His voice, suddenly withdrawn, caught Tezuka's attention. Looking at his side, he saw the tensai tracing the steps he walked on a moment ago.

"You're leaving?" Tezuka tried not to sound disappointed, but found it hard not to.

"Yeah, I still have some plans. Nice seeing you here, Tezuka."

"Fuji."

The said boy halted in mid step but didn't look back.

"Are you avoiding me?" he saw Fuji look down, his eyes disappearing beneath his bangs, obscuring any expressions.

"I have no reason to." Then he left, but Tezuka was certain he heard the tensai murmured quietly to himself, "But you are giving me good reason to."

'_Am I too late, Syusuke?'_

'_Was it a mistake coming back?'_

'_Don't you want me back, Syusuke?'_

Oishi noticed how preoccupied Eiji was ever since he went back from his visit from Fuji. The redhead seemed to be spacing out and he wasn't in his usual bouncy self.

"Eiji, is something wrong?" Oishi confronted his lover, worried as always. Eiji's smile vanished to be replaced by a serious look that Oishi rarely seen.

"It's about Fuji…" The acrobatic player's voice was broke and sad. It touched him, how Eiji concerns about Fuji, his best friend. It made him think how lucky Fuji is, to have found such a caring best friend like Eiji, that even if they go to separate colleges, they've never failed to keep in touch and visit each other.

"What happened to him?" Oishi's voice was calm and not probing. Eiji sighed heavily and told Oishi everything Fuji confessed to him. The redhead cried, and Oishi wrapped his arms around him, feeling the sadness Eiji exudes affecting him too.

And the redhead explained everything to Oishi, Fuji's hidden affection for Tezuka that he'd kept ever since they were first year in junior high. Oishi couldn't believe his ears; Fuji had endured everything this long, and no wonder Eiji's very affected.

"You mean he loves Tezuka all this time and hasn't even confessed?"

"Yes, he told me that he tried to forget Tezuka…it must really be painful for him when Tezuka left. Come to think of it, I never saw Fuji for about a week after Tezuka's departure and he never even called me then. I thought he was busy."

"Tezuka never told me about anything."

"So did Fuji, he only told me because Tezuka came back and it pains him again, I told him to tell Tezuka, I dunno if I convinced him though." Eiji fell silent, still sobbing as Oshi poundered what Eiji said. It was to be expected that Tezuka won't tell anyone if he even has feelings for the tensai, even Oishi himself, being Tezuka's best friend were devoid of this.

"Want me to talk to Tezuka?"

"No, don't. I don't know what I'll do if Tezuka tells you that he doesn't love Fuji, Oishi…"

"I guess you're right."

"I'm just worried about Fuji…he's really down, and I have never really seem to see real smile from his face, it's always a strained and fake one." Eiji ceased crying but was still looking very disturbed as he leaned his head on Oishi's shoulder.

"Let's just hope things would be better between them, we can only support them from afar." Oishi tried to sound encouraging, knowing that it's the only option that they both have.

"Yeah, I guess so…We can only hope things will be okay."

xXxXx

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**A/N:** Reviews!!! Any of the sort would be appreciated. I need more encouragement to continue this story!!


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own anything. Only the idea of coming up with a story to write.

**A/N: **At last, the fourth chapter! It has been a long while since I've last updated! Sorry for that! I hope you will enjoy this chapter, it's not much, but i hope you will like it. Sadly, this would be on temporary hiatus, I will make some revisions for the last three chapters because I didn't like it. (Gomen, I think it would take a while.) But I will push this through until the end. But for now, I hope you will all enjoy this. Reviews! Don't forget!

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xXxXx

_**Kimi no yasashisa ga boku ni nokoshita mono wo**_

_**Kimi ni wa souzou dekinai darou**_

_**You probably cannot imagine**_

_**What your gentleness has left for me**_

Tezuka stared at the invitation he was holding. It was from Fuji, inviting him to see his photo exhibition at school. Apparently, Fuji's talent for capturing moments with such perfection and precision had caused him his very first exhibit. The stoic captain can't help but be impressed; Fuji deserved this kind of achievement, he is a tensai after all. He'd proven much of his reputation already, and it came to no surprise that he's excelling so well. He knew everyone who had crossed paths with Fuji must have been so proud of him. An unfamiliar smile crept up his face as he made up his mind to attend the said exhibit, no possible reason would be probable to hinder him from seeing Fuji at his best.

'_I couldn't possibly deny you, Syusuke.'_

'_Of course, I want to see you shining at what you do best.'_

'_You can't imagine how proud I am.'_

Tezuka blinked. He was standing outside the university mentioned in Fuji's invitation, and found himself staring down at his old Seigaku tennis team. It seems Fuji had invited them all, and they had all decided to grab this one in a million chances of the tensai's supremacy.

"Buchou! I'm so glad you came, nya!" a voice he knew full well greeted with such exuberating energy, that he noticed people passing them smiling slightly. The captain's eyes glanced around his team. All of them, no doubt, were there. Anticipation was spelled clearly before him as he approached them.

"Tezuka, we're glad you came. Aren't you excited to see all of Fuji's works? I heard that his photos were beyond exceptional." Oishi said, grinning widely.

"He was always exceptional, that Fuji." The captain sounded very proud. It made the whole team smile.

"Really? Thank you, Tezuka." A soft, effeminate voice said just behind him, and when he turned around, it was the eyes that held his heart that met his gaze. He had a saccharine smile, one that never hid anything behind its beauty.

Tezuka watched him while he turns gracefully to their friends. "Thank you for coming everyone, it means a lot to me."

"Fuji, nya, it's our pleasure, right guys?" the other Seigaku Regulars nodded. Kikumaru jumped around like a silly 5 years old given some ice cream. "I'm so excited Fuji nya~!"

"Aa…thanks, Eiji. Follow me then." Fuji turned and led the way inside the splendid and spacious university. Eyes followed them, wondering who on earth were this stunning group led by their prodigy in their campus. Some even came and greeted Fuji with utmost respect and admiration while averting their eyes to the eight Regulars with interest. Others were attempting petty conversations with Fuji filled with exclamations from his exhibit, but Fuji merely answered once and shook them off rather easily.

"Fuji-sempai's very popular, isn't he?" commented Ryoma, smirking amusingly, eyeing another swarm of admirers crowding them again. The captain found it odd that some of the students eyed him with interest, some whispering in hushed voices behind their hands. Tezuka got the feeling that they somehow recognized him.

"Aa…thank you, everyone, but I really have to go, my friends here needs to see my exhibit too, and I want to be there with them." Fuji explained with a gentle ease and a smile.

"Fuji-sama, is that THE Tezuka Kunimitsu—"

"Aa…yes, he's Tezuka. Gomen, but we really have to go. Excuse us." Fuji's tone suggested that he was hiding something as he had noticed as his eyes took up Fuji's face. But he kept it quiet, as they continued following the tensai to the very heart of his huge college.

"Hoi, Fuji, what was that about?"

"Saa, you'll find out soon enough." The tensai replied with a small smile.

The exhibit was huge indeed and magnificently designed, very much suited to the tensai's taste for elegant aesthetics. Photos after photos framed luxuriously scattered around, with the memories and messages it brings sealed inside.

The first two sections were all landscapes. It showcases the brilliance of Mother Earth as seen though Fuji's eyes. The next two sections were about human aesthetics, candid and dramatic shots of people at the midst of their emotions and preoccupation. It was amazing how stealthy Fuji can become, and still retain the precise acquisition of the photos. Staring at it makes you feel like you've been actually there.

"Hoi! Guys, look here nya!" Kikumaru was bouncing up and down excitedly at the third section.

Tezuka tore his eyes away from a sunrise photograph that looked oddly familiar to him and went to Kikumaru. What he saw surprised him so much.

Familiar faces of the Seigaku regulars greeted his sight. There were pictures of all of them, in groups and individual shots. There were pictures of them doing their special move at play, Tezuka even saw himself in his Tezuka Zone stance. Come to think of it, how did Fuji capture all of this when he never actually notices the tensai holding his camera during matches, let alone during practice matches?

"These are amazing! Look at me, doing my dunk smash! Did I really get that high?" Momo sounded dumbfounded and utterly impressed, gaping wide-eyed on his picture.

"Aaa…it seems like my Tenimuhou didn't escape his lenses too, huh…" The slightly smirking Ryoma let his eyes rover over his photos, both candid and on-purpose shots. He can't deny the talent that his sempai must have to attain such well-defined photos.

Kikumaru couldn't stop his mouth from babbling as he bobbed up and down the soles of his feet as he acknowledges the photo of himself in front of him. "Sugoi~! I didn't know I was this high and flashy nya! Look at me smile nya!" Tezuka could almost hear the smile in his voice.

"Fujiko-chan… these are wonderful…oh, is that me in my burning mode?" Takashi said impressively with Fuji beaming next to him. Fuji told him that he wanted the sushi-maker to remember his past achievement as a tennis player.

Behind them Inui and Kaido were silently adoring their own framed remembrance of the past. "These photos are interesting. Such detail and precision captured at best. Truly a work of a tensai. Just look at your boomerang snake, Kaido. Even the eyes alone can't see the precise angle the ball glides around the pole. Add the fact that this shot is incredibly fast for him to catch is amazing." Even Inui was in awe with what he is seeing. It was a rare case for him to spout compliments after compliments. Kaido, however, was devoid of words as he stared at the photographs.

Oishi can't help smiling appreciatively as his eyes swept over the photos. His smile even grew wider when he saw photos of his and Eiji's synchronization and his specialty, the Moon Volley.

Tezuka, however, was in the midst of admiring the photos of the team he came to treasure so much. He realized that photographs of him were only few, compared to the other Regulars. He did once mention to Fuji that he doesn't like being photographed.

"Fuji—" Tezuka was about to thank him, but it seems like the latter was telling something to the team.

"I have a special exhibit over there; you can all go inside if you want."

"Hoi! Let's go nya!" said an enthusiastic Eiji, as he jumped around in glee. Tezuka made his way to Fuji, who merely stared back rather hesitant.

"Ne Tezuka, don't you want to see my special exhibit?" the tensai smiled, and Tezuka found himself enthralled that he forgot to talk.

"TEZUKA-BUCHOU! YOU NEED TO COME HERE AT ONCE!" Momo's voice was so loud that it startled Tezuka. He turned and saw Momo frantically ushering him to come. He turned back to Fuji again, and was about to talk when he was headed off again.

"Go on Tezuka. I hope you enjoy my special exhibit." He smiled again and Tezuka gave up. It was pointless; Fuji's smile is enough to shut him up.

He felt a tug behind him and saw Momoshiro practically dragging him before he could even utter a word of protest. And when he turned to Fuji again, the tensai was nowhere in sight.

"Fuji?!"

"Buchou, check this out!" Momo said, Tezuka was still wondering where Fuji had gone off to, to notice that Momo had opened the clothed entrance.

"Tezuka."

It was Oishi's voice that sent him back to reality and then he found himself staring on countless photographs that were solely featuring him.

A title flashed ahead, in a glimmering elegant calligraphy was the words 'PARAGON' A Special Exhibit by Fuji Syusuke are embossed.

Paragon…a model of perfection and excellence…Kunimitsu Tezuka.

The captain stood there, lost for words.

xXxXx

_**Otagai no kuuhaku wo**__**umeru mono wo tada**_

_**Otagai no naka ni motometeku**_

_**We're searching in each other**_

_**The thing that will fill our emptiness**_

Paragon.

A model of perfection.

Tezuka thought his eyes were playing a practical joke on him.

The walls around him were all filled with his framed photographs. It was like a time line of Tezuka's life in Seigaku.

There was a shot of him playing with one of his sempais, a picture of him picking up balls on the ground, him running his laps alone, him sitting alone on one of the benches a towel draped over his head. There was also a photo of him playing against the wall, the mark where the ball always lands evidently seen on the photo.

On another side is dedicated on his second year.

Tezuka started to notice that the photos taken were actually when he was with the tensai. But it was weird that he didn't notice Fuji clutching his camera and was already clicking away.

There was a photo of him with a look of untainted concentration on his face, a photo of him sleeping on his bed, his guard completely down, he couldn't remember when the tensai had sneaked inside his bedroom like that, but judging from the flush on his face, this must be the time when he was sick and Fuji visited him. His stances, his feat at play, were all captured by the tensai. It felt like he was stalked by this person. It once occurred to him that Inui did all the spying and stuff, not Fuji.

Another row was dedicated for his last year in Seigaku. Majority of it were all about his matches. There was his unforgettable match with Atobe. Also pictures of him in Germany when the team visited him. Some features his last match with Echizen before the latter flew to America. Shots from the Nationals came after that. The loss of his match with Sanada from Rikkaidai, the victory cup that gleamed from his hands when Echizen beat Yukimura. And a stolen shot of him with a rare smile plastered on his face. Underneath that particular photo was a label that says, 'A billion's worth of smile'. Then there's a picture of him when they were in Kawamura's place to celebrate the victory they had.

And lastly, a picture of him in his fateful departure to Germany.

"Mou…this is unexpected nya." He heard Kikumaru muttered behind him. Even his other friends were entranced, mouths agape.

At the far end of the last picture of Tezuka, taken recently when he came back from Germany, a short message beautifully handwritten by Fuji was framed.

_Kunimitsu Tezuka,_

_A quintessence_

_Nonpareil by no one_

_A hard to reach summit_

_Acme of perfection_

_Ideal inspiration_

_Thank you very much._

_Welcome back._

_Signed, _

_Fuji Syusuke_

So that explains the tensai's sudden disappearance, he didn't want Tezuka cornering him with questions on why he chose him. The captain still couldn't believe what he'd just witnessed.

"…Welcome back. Signed, Fuji Syusuke…this message speaks about the real truth about Tezuka, no doubt about that." Inui spoke in an intrigued voice. "A Paragon, as the title says, Fuji must have really spent all his dedication to make all of this possible. I don't even see the cameras he wields around; I wonder how he does that."

Eiji threw Oishi a knowing look, and the latter nodded in understanding. They knew that it was possible, because of the unparalleled love of Fuji for Tezuka, but they didn't say it out loud. It was clear that the tensai's initiative was his admiration and love for the captain and his exhibit is a message for Tezuka, more precisely, it is a confession of love. But knowing how naïve and dense Tezuka could be in this kind of stuff would think otherwise.

But the captain was still torn between perplexity and astonishment. What would drive Fuji to do such thing?

Tezuka strode over to where Kikumaru stood and yanked his arm and dragged him outside the exhibit.

"Tezuka~! Mou, what do you want?!" The acrobat said frantically, scared as if Tezuka might ask him something concerning Fuji.

"Do you know where Fuji's staying now?" The question was awkward enough to make the whining Kikumaru shut his mouth.

"What?"

"I—I need to see Fuji." Tezuka felt uneasy as he said that. He saw Kikumaru's indigo eyes went wide with understanding.

"Maa…don't worry, Tezuka, I know where he stays nya! Do I need to write it down or you want me to accompany you, it's not far from here nya!" the redhead was now bouncing happily on his feet. Oishi was scrambling behind them with the rest of the team, worried.

"Yes, take me there, Kikumaru."

"Then let's go buchou nya!"

"Where are you guys going?" Oishi asked, looking confused.

"Tezuka and I needs to go to Fuji, Oishi." He added a knowing look that Oishi understood.

"Okay then. Extend our thanks and appreciation to him."

"Sure. See you again soon." Tezuka said curtly, bowing slightly to his friends.

"I'll catch you later, Oishi nya!" And the two left ahead of the group.

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**A/N:** Thanks for reading!!! Reviews please! I need more encouragement for this fic to carry on. Fulfill the duty of that green button below. Hope you would also read my Valentines oneshot fic, **Dread to Love**. Happy Valentines Day, minna-san! Again, reviews!!


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own them. I think I'll never do.

**A/N:** At long last another chapter! Thank you for those who supported this story, this is my first one so thank you very much! After the long hiatus mode at last I'm given the chance to update. This would be my treat for myself and to everyone who supports me because I'm graduating from highschool tomorrow. Thank you everyone! Hope you'll enjoy!! Reviews! It would be a great gift for my part!

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Ima kimi ga nozomu naraba**_

_**Honto no boku wo miseru yo**_

_**Now if you desire it**_

_**I will show you the real me**_

"We're here, buchou nya!"

Tezuka stood still and roved his eyes at the hotel that stood magnificently before them. Fuji must be getting more incentive from his obra maestras than he had expected. And to think he's this popular and successful even as a college student. Tezuka can't help but be proud of him again.

He turned his attention back to Kikumaru, who was studying him with a huge grin sprawled on his face. "Thank you, Kikumaru. Can you tell me what floor and room he's in?"

"Hai, hai. He's on the seventh floor. Fifth suite to the left as you step out of the elevator nya."

Grateful, Tezuka turned back to Kikumaru and bowed slightly. "Thank you, Kikumaru."

Utterly nonplussed, Kikumaru flashed his exuberating smile at Tezuka as he muttered happily, "Hoi hoi! You're welcome, Tezuka nya! I'll take my leave then. Good luck nya! Ja ne!" the widely grinning acrobat bounced off and disappeared behind a group of passing teenagers.

Swallowing the tension building up inside of him, he went inside and headed over the elevator. Inside, he suddenly felt claustrophobic; but he knew it was merely an exaggeration of the nervousness he was experiencing. After a few minutes standing still on his spot, the elevator door came to a halt and the sliding metal doors opened. Every step as he carefully threaded the direction Kikumaru had given him seemed to garner heaviness.

The door Kikumaru told him stood before, almost teasing in his opinion. He raised his hand to knock but it seems to follow the lead of what his feet felt back then. Heaving a breath, he pounded the door in a manner not akin to banging and waited patiently.

He waited and waited but it seems like the tensai has no intention to even answer back or open the door. It made the captain wonder if the tensai is really there or not.

Testing if he has luck, he grasped the knob and turned it, and it caught him off-guard that the door was indeed unlocked. Almost instinctively, he prayed that Fuji won't get mad at him for sneaking in as he entered the slightly darkened room.

Even in the darkness with the only light was emitting from what Tezuka presumed was the lamp in the small living room, Fuji's suite looked really extravagant. He roved his eyes around until his gaze landed on a slightly ajar door. As he approached it he saw a figure on the bed. Walking as quietly as he can without feeling as if he was some kind of thief, he approached the bed and saw Fuji sleeping peaceful yet positioned haphazardly on his bed. It seems like he was doing something and fell asleep without him intending to.

Feeling his feet carrying him unconsciously nearer the bed, he knew that even if the stress is evident he was still breathtaking to look at.

Awkwardly, he kneeled beside the bed and couldn't resist stretching his hand to stroke the tensai's face. His eyes widened as he saw the faint trail of almost drying tears on Fuji's face. Instinctively, he run his thumb on it and wiped it away carefully, with a solemn and wistful look etched on his face. Hazel eyes stared intently to the face he came to love so much, taking every detail he can lay his eyes on. His heart wrenched with the pain of what he had done, how could he survived these past years with the guilt of what he has done.

Suddenly, Fuji stirred with a faint groan. Tezuka withdrew his hand rather quickly and stood up, flushing slightly.

Time seemed to freeze when those enticing blue eyes opened up with the trace of sleep peering behind it as the gaze it held met that of Tezuka's hazel ones.

"Te—Tezuka?"

He sat upright in a bolt, a hint of flush in his face. Surprise was written legibly all over his face as the image of Tezuka standing before his bed.

"Fuji." Tezuka's tone was that of what he typically uses, but it sounds as if he's using it to mask his nervousness.

Still, Fuji looked perplexed with the fact that his former captain stood at his room and next to his bed to be precise without him even hinting that it would happen. It was his intention to stay here knowing that Tezuka would want to talk to him after what he'd seen. Is avoidance too futile on his part?

Still unable to find the right words to say, Fuji just let his gaze be held by Tezuka.

Finally speaking up, choosing his words correctly, "Wha—"

"I'm sorry I barged in here without notice." Tezuka said cutting Fuji off. He suddenly blanched as he realized his timing of speech was rather rude. "I'm sorry, Fuji…"

But Fuji merely ignored the intrusion and continued what he was saying, "What do you want with me?"

The hurt in Fuji's voice that he tried to mask still managed to speak volumes when he spoke, and it made Tezuka think twice of what he did.

"I just wanted to talk." Tezuka stared as Fuji shifted his position to sit more comfortably on the bed.

"How did you come in here?" Fuji asked his tone skeptical. It perplexed him with the fact that Tezuka managed to slip inside his suite without him noticing or hearing any intrusion.

Tezuka said honestly, "Front door unlocked, I guess you forgot to." Fuji gaped at him. Tezuka knew he was inwardly cursing himself for his untimely carelessness. But Tezuka knew better not to rub it in by reminding him once more of his 'Yudan sezu ni ikou' rumblings.

Fuji continued to probe on. "And—and how did you know where I'm staying at?"

"Kikumaru."

Fuji sighed. He knew Eiji's big mouth won't stop its ranting. He almost cursed himself out loud for being so careless. And he suddenly remembered that Eiji knew about his feelings to Tezuka. It made him sigh again.

"Saa…I knew it." He calmed down, for some reason his heart was racing and his sudden outburst seems to unnerved him. Tezuka merely stood, keeping his cool as he too was too nervous to think of what to do. The air between them was suddenly filled with heavy and awkward tension that both was not unaware of.

"Thank You."

Fuji wrenched his gaze away from the floor and locked it on Tezuka's hazel eyes. His smile was forced again, he felt very heavy inside that it's already threatening to spill out.

"I'm honored with what you did. Thank you."

Fuji felt drained. Is Tezuka really that dense?

"Really?" Fuji retorted, not controlling the hint of spite that he let out. He saw Tezuka twitch with his sharp word.

Tezuka answered right away, feeling the disbelief of the tensai before him. For a moment he was confused with what he was seeing. "Yes. Of course."

Fuji tore his heavy gaze away from Tezuka and settled his gaze back on the floor again.

"Anything else?"

Somehow, the way Fuji let those words out, it almost sounded too disappointed, as if he was asking for something that Tezuka failed to give to him. But what is it? He fell silent for a moment, thinking hard.

Thinking he might have offended the latter in some way, he muttered "I'm sorry."

Fuji's eyes held his again; the startling intensity it holds made Tezuka hard to breath.

"For what, Tezuka?"

Old flames shouldn't be brought up, but why does Fuji feel like every gaze he throws are implying so?

Tezuka's answer was not the one he expected. "Everything."

Ignoring the feeling of his face heating up, he attempted to stow the conversation away from where it's heading.

"There's no need for that—"

"Why me? Why choose me Fuji?" Tezuka interrupted, suddenly taking a few steps nearer to Fuji, but Fuji stayed on his position.

"Isn't it obvious?" The spite he slipped out earlier on was now speaking volumes in Fuji's tone. Tezuka wants to reach out to him, but he was afraid it will anger Fuji more.

Fuji never tore his gaze away Tezuka. "Just tell me, I want to hear it straight away from you."

"You know the reason." was Fuji's cryptic reply.

But Tezuka probed on. "Tell me."

"Figure it out yourself, Tezuka."

"Why won't you tell me?"

Fuji's eyes flashed. The disappointment, sadness and anger mixed in his voice as he retorted, "Damn it, Tezuka. It's been years! How stupid can you get?"

Those words seared like knife. "Don't call me stupid."

"But you are, seeing as you're still playing dumb." Fuji didn't back down, seeing the expression of utter irritation on Tezuka's face.

"I'm not dumb."

A sarcastic smile formed on Fuji's face. "You sure do act one."

Tezuka sighed and dropped the retaliation he had in mind. No, he doesn't want Fuji to act like this in front of him. This is not at all what he thought would happen.

In a tone that is far from anger, he said, "Just tell me, Fuji."

Fuji calmed himself down and took a moment before speaking up again.

"Would it make a difference?" whispered Fuji.

"It would, I'm sure of it." Tezuka blurted out, not knowing what he said.

Fuji gaped at him again, with an unexplainable expression on his face.

"Then you know the reason already." Fuji piped back.

"No."

"You knew it will make a difference."

Tezuka shook his head slightly, wanting to know what the reason is to settle his wildly thumping heart.

"Just tell me please." He repeated again, stepping closer again to Fuji.

This time, Fuji's face softened as if he was letting himself be controlled by the gamut of emotions trapped inside him.

"You sure you want to hear?" He whispered almost inaudible.

"Tell me."

Something akin to hurt clung on Fuji's voice as he asked, "You won't run away?"

Tezuka felt everything felt warm when those words thick with emotions came out of Fuji's mouth. Something in the way Fuji's eyes softened as he held his gaze made him feel that something's really up.

"No…I won't…Fuji."

"Promise?" Promises, hard to ought, but this time he swore he won't back away.

"I promise."

He watched as Fuji drop his gaze to sigh heavily and locked his gaze again to Tezuka, his face starting to get flushed. A smile, full of longing flashed before him.

And as if in slow motion, those soft lips opened up to speak.

"I love you."

_**Mou nani mo kakusanai sa**_

_**Saa ikou ka**_

_**I won't hide anything anymore**_

"_**Well, shall we get going?"**_

Words oscillated repeatedly on Tezuka's head. He felt his breath got rugged as those striking three words registered onto his head. All he can do was stare at Fuji who rose up from his seat, his gaze disappearing behind his bangs as he ushered past Tezuka.

Tears were streaming down Fuji's eyes, but he attempted to hide it from Tezuka.

As he went past him, Tezuka grabbed hold of his arm and swing him into his arms in a warm, reassuring embrace. Fuji shivered, tears spilling from his beautiful eyes.

"Tezuka…"

The captain patted him gently and let him cry his eyes out on his shoulders. The words still echoed on his head, the words he longed to hear for so long. It was the words he never expected to hear from Fuji. He was wrong. His love was not unrequited at all.

And he left Fuji for his stupid mistake.

Fuji loved him.

He hugged Fuji tightly, as the realization of his actions came crashing down at him.

And slowly, his tears streamed down his cheeks and landed on Fuji's exposed neck.

Feeling this, Fuji looked up with wide eyes.

"Te—Tezuka?!"

"Fuji…I'm sorry."

Fuji's heart ached with what he heard. Can it be that Tezuka doesn't really love him?

Tears so foreign silently slid from Tezuka's eyes. Fuji felt his own tears do the same.

A pair of hands managed to hold his face steady, making him remain his wet eye contact with Tezuka.

"I love you, too."

Before Fuji closed his eyes, he saw Tezuka lean in nearer and smiled. And then soft lips covered his own.

And the tears that flowed were no longer of sadness and anguish.

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**A/N:** Thanks for reading! Reviews!! Glad for the support and so glad that I was able to update. Only two chapters and this would end. Thanks for the support again. If anyone's interested for some info on my new stories, it's in my profile. Thank you very much again! Reviews!! Hope I can update soon. I'll update The Lapse of Oblivion by the weekend. REVIEWS!!


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